Top 10 Things I Would Like to Say My Oncologist…

I made this Top 10 List shortly after I was diagnosed in 2009. Over the ensuing months, I have actually said most of these things to my doctor. Time for a new list!

10. Instead of putting my arms behind my head for this exam, how about if throw my hands up in the air like I just don’t care?

9. Do you mind if I conduct a “Pampered Chef” party in your reception area?

8. See that? Do you think I’m getting stigmata?

7. Where do I sign up for the “Look Good, Feel Crappy” class?

6. There must be some mistake. I’m looking for the Rotary luncheon.

5. Do you validate?

4. I was told MRIs are “Buy One, Get One Free” this week. Is that true?

3. On the bright side, my prostate has never been healthier.

2. How do you get your coat so white?

1. Screw the gown. I’m going commando!

–Katherine O’Brien


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4 thoughts on “Top 10 Things I Would Like to Say My Oncologist…

  1. Anna says:

    I could teach that class under #7.

    Whenever I get asked about medical history I always say “Oh me? I’m in perfect health other than Stage IV cancer”.

  2. Joani Gudeman says:

    Very Funny! poignant as well. You remind us that humor is an effective coping strategy!

  3. […] is to distract me or just to make things more interesting for her. I’ve already covered  the Top 10 Things I’d Like to Say to My Oncologist.  So it’s only fair to consider the doctor’s side of […]

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